Slacking off
This blog is having to take a break for a while due to the demands of work (paying work, that is).
It will return soon, if only to annoy the Guardianistas, although why they bother coming here is beyond me.
posted by BarryBeelzebub @ 7:37 AM
66 Comments:
Good to hear you have found gainful employment again Bazza. I hope it works out well for you.
I'll check back here from time to time, so don't stay away for too long.
Bring it on.
Pleased you've been missing for the right reasons but I really do miss your baiting of the pseudo-intelligentsia so kindly hurry back.
You make us laff Barry. That's why we come to read your stuff.
The guardianistas come so they can have something to whine about!
Well I suppose it had to happen, are you able to divulge where we can read you from now on? Good luck
C'mon baz we really miss you. It shouldn't take too long to rattle off a rant. It's not like you'd have to resort to all that dreary filler about Beelzebub Mansions and your man Whittaker, or the Christmas stilton attacking the contents of your fridge. So much tempting material has built up since you've been gone it should be a doddle.
What about :-
The mum who set fire to herself and her daughter due to the relentless baiting by the local gang of feral, knuckle dragging chavs and the inaction of the useless rozzers who were too lazy to respond to her cries for help.
The school dinner lady who was sacked for the outrageous act of informing some parents that their daughter was being bullied (she put the headmistress's job at risk for goodness sake).
The hoodie thug murderer who is bragging on Facebook about how cushy it is in prison and telling his mates how much they would love it there.
Gordon Brown's myopic stand up comedy session in Brighton.
Those are just a few titbits from the mainstream. I'm sure that by now you will have collected a few precious gems from the local rags as well, innit?
I read the Guardian, occasionally, the same has other papers (including the Daily Shit... Mail).
Hope you don't stay away too long Bazza, I do miss your eloquent rants - most of which I agree with.
Lazy Twat, if I can take the time off to scive and read this, you should maintain a similar level of commitment. ;)
I hope the job collecting trollies at Tescos works out for you, Baz.
Thank goodness! What would I do without your common sense? Showing all my friends and helping them understand what utter balderdash the UK(usa) has become. Hurry back.
I´ve had two months of cold turkey because the dealer has not given me my regular injections of commonsense and i´ve resorted cheaper shit?
miss you barry
all the best
This is Amfortas.
Withdrawm is uncomfortable Barry. As if I don't have enough pain and only a month left. Get back with a bon mot quickly.
Spend less time in the 1339 and more time blogging!Get on with it lad
Bazza, ever thought of sticking Adsense on your blog? We'll all click on them in show of appreciation thus supplementing your job at Tescos!
Come on Bazza, you must have finished your Community Service by now. I need another fix of your superb topical wit.
Come on, Barry. Get a grip of yourself, man. There are thousands (or at least a dozen of us) out here awaiting your return. All the vituperation against those Johnny Furriners out there, waiting for your attention, not to mention the scum making a new law every day that slides us further into the mire of PC - and that is only that lot across the channel!
If you are incarcerated in a debtor's prison, can't you smuggle a memory stick out?
I will now go and pour myself a large tap water, mixed with a small amount of Great Bushmills whilst I await your return...
PS: I had to load Operah herself to be able to post here :(
Bazza
please come back soon. I need a dose of humour in this wasteland of sadness, war and general crime.....
Come back! It's been far too long!
Time to return. We have missed your insight and brilliance (is that enough fawning?)
Hi Barry. I hope your continued absence from here means that the new job is going well for you.I have missed your postings on here, so how about a "Christmas Special" or review of some key stories from the year?
C'mon Bazza, three months...
A Christmas roundup/New Year Look Back would be good.
It's true isn't it? Brown's bought your silence.
i Spoke to your old boss the other week Bazza, he sends his regards.....
Come on bazza you've got christmas wrap up and
a decade to reflect back on.... Dosen't the new firm
give you a Christmas break???????!!!
Knob in my right hand, glass of Californian Zinfandel in the left. Who gives me orders and why should I obey them? Who put the bomb in the sacred ocean? How much is blue? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Is a bear a Catholic? How long is a slick of snot? Where in the World (and why)?
Please, I'd like to apologise for my husband (Edgar). He smoked a giant spliff for breakfast and has been at the vino all day. Normally he is quite reserved.
Hello. I'm sorry for the above, but both my parents, Edgar and Doris, are turnips. They can't help it though - they're both Cornish.
Have you been renditioned?! Followed you since the Bristol Evening Post days, about time you returned. My son in Sussex is getting withdrawal pains.
Who would have thought that Barry Beelzebub would have become an Outreach Worker to the Disabled Lesbian Gay & Transgendered Community in Islington? Talk about Poacher turned Gamekeeper!
Come back barry, all is forgiven.
Are you still fiddling with the christmas stilton?
Amfortas says:
OK, its now nearly friggin' February 2000 and friggin' 10. Haven't you done enough friggin' work?
do we need bazza here?
we could keep this lot going for ages.
and teshanaquin
I agree with your right to say it but for furks sake say it in bleedin' Engrish
I don't agree with your right to say that!
Well if the bent copper getting 4 years cannot bring Bazza back then I am fearful nothing will. He could not wait to blog obout the 60K he stole from the taxpayer!
RIP Bazza! Sad day!
So much Evil to do in the world and so little time. Even the Advocate is out and about sowing dismay, as lawyers are wont to do.
But enough is enough. We small imps are no match for Barry, our Leader, the Wit.
Barry, Barry, Barry
Amfortas says:
Meanwhile, as we re waiting for Barry to appear from a puff of smoke, something to amuse:
Give a Dog a Bad Name. Pt.1.
http://soundcloud.com/christian-j/give-a-dog-a-bad-name-part-1
The mass media is anti-male by commercial design. Comprehensive study data shows the depth of disrespect for men. Even ‘Old-school’ feminists are appalled at the damage being done to men. The media is ‘Wrong, both factually and morally”, says MRA Amfortas. Government pays for an agitprop war on men’s reputation to frighten women. At what cost?
Give a dog a Bad Name. Pt.2.
http://soundcloud.com/christian-j/give-a-dog-a-bad-name-pt-2
Women have unconsciously adopted a habit of disrespecting men. “Men are feeling profoundly disappointed, disillusioned and disgusted” and are withdrawing their support and protection of women. Society, and women in particular, are losing a valuable resource needed for its healthy continuance. The Love of men. Is this what women want?
Well if any so called woman disrespects me she gonna get a face full of dollars. Me & my turkeys don't take no shit from no one what smaller than us. I wanna open a door for a "laaaydey" I'm going to do it, even if I have to fetch my own brick.
As for compliments, I said only the other day she was a lot lighter than my motorbike, and she hardly slapped me at all, I guess I just got the style.
Hey!
you see this thing about some school giving out computers with cameras on what they've been using to spy on kids at home?
Where I live they gotta name for people like that, they gotta place for them to stay too. I hope that someone's going to learn some lessons from this as they say, which translated into engrish means sh1t, we got caught, how we going to get out of this one? I know lets talk B011ocks.
Unfortunatly it sums up how this website is redundant when people are advertising in this spot. I'm sure Bazza would have been none too pleased.
So why are you still checking up on it then?
What's it got to do with you?
Amfortas says:
See what happens? An outbreak of terseness.
Have all the denizens of Hell been elected to the US Congress as Democrats? What about Harriet Harman? Will she get a seat when her arse is thrown out of the UK?
Oh for gods sake Barry get your finger on the pulse again, what am I supposed to read on night duty to keep me awake?!!
Come on, people. Barry has done a Dr Kelly, cutting his wrist with a blunt penknife and swallowing two painkillers to avoid the hurt.
Does anyone seriously believe that Baz would miss the wonderful chance to extract the urine from our motley bunch of posturing politicos?
Conspiracy theorists form a line on the right, naysayers on the left.
Oh, and please don't forget to vote, for whoever you fancy. Lots of us great unwashed out here gave a lot for you to do so.
I'm starting to suspect that Gordon has ordered MI5 or perhaps Special Branch to take Barry out...
Why do people keep posting to this thread? It's deader than dog shit. Bazza has gone for good.
If he's gone for good, it isn't My good hes gone for 'cos I've still got it.
And anyway, wossit matter whether he's here or not?
Functionally illiterate people should refrain from posting, please.
I'm glad it wasn't just me who had no idea what he was on about.
He is dead Jim, Deader than a dead thing in a bag!!!!
Bazzas Dead Jim, Deader than a dead thing, in a bag
Oh, how we laugh still at twenty year old Blackadder references.
very much missed :(
Unless the Christmas Stilton finally got you, there really is no excuse for your continued absence. I'm sure you must be in print or on the web somewhere, so at least tell us where ....
Anyone got a Ouija Board?
There is a German Paedo speeding around our country in the Jetsons car....and Bazza is nowhere to be seen. Not good!
Bazza it's been a year now!!
Come back we need you!!
One year exactly since your last post, Baz ...
baz??? where r u ???
I think Bazza now is editor of "Costwold Life" - you can read his blogs here:
http://cotswold.greatbritishlife.co.uk/community/blogs/entries/editors-blog-cotswolds-gloucestershire-cotswoldlife/id/19/
... but they are not in the style of the old Bazza we miss so much: pretty tame stuff.
Pip pip !
While we wait forever, have a read of these classic '04 Bazza columns archived here:
http://www.khmer440.com/chat_forum/viewtopic.php?t=1066&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=&sid=085f07545d9e8c3e01af0549647fb28d
http://www.khmer440.com/chat_forum/viewtopic.php?t=1066&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight
This link is better.
20.10.10 - Turkey Army demobbed.
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