Friday, October 14, 2005

Posted by Man of Bath on the forum

How about this for the latest situation vacant in Blair's Turkey Army?

Bath & North East Somerset Council
Location: Bath
Job Title: Dormouse Conservation Officer
Salary: £19656 to £21654 pro rata
Closing Date: 18/10/2005Reference No. 51224
Description: Part-time post 18.5 hours - £19656 to £21654 pro rata (3 year contract - Heritage Lottery and ALSD funded)
Based in Bath

We need an enthusiastic and committed individual to lead a partnership project, funded by HLF and Aggregates Levy Sustainability Fund, focusing on the endangered dormouse. The project will enable local people to identify, look after and celebrate local heritage and biodiversity using the dormouse as a focal species. The project area includes parts of Bath & NE Somerset and South Gloucestershire.This wide ranging job includes practical conservation, data collection, working with volunteers, raising community awareness and project management. It involves working with a number of key partners including FWAG and the Bristol Regional Environmental Records Centre. You will need a degree/diploma in ecology, countryside management or related discipline with at least 4 years relevant experience including dormouse conservation. Good communication and project management skills are essential. Full driving license and access to a car required.

Application Details: To apply, please visit our website at

Alternatively e-mail or telephone 01225 396409 (24 hours), quoting the reference number and post title.

Closing date: 12 noon Tuesday 18th October 2005.
Interview date: Tuesday 25th October.

It's the four years relevant experience that gets me. How many Deputy Dormous Conservation Officers are there out there?


Blogger phatbobsmate said...

to continue the animal theme, I note today the AFP are reporting how a british zoo director was shocked over the antics of a group of youths at a Welsh Mountain Zoo in Colwyn Bay.
The youths had taken a white rabbit from the children’s farm and threw it to the alligators. The report goes on to say that surprise surprise - it was immediately eaten by Albert, a 4 meter Mississippi alligator!
The discussion continues in the yob culture ASBO vein. Never once giving a thought to those obviously misguided youths who must have wondered what all the fuss was about. I too, like Albert, love Welsh rabbit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:33 AM  
Blogger phatbobsmate said...

now wait just a darn gone minute - wasnt Albert a lion?

5:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nay lad - the lion ate our Albert!

6:01 PM  
Blogger phatbobsmate said...

So Mr and Mrs Ransbottob were obviously lion (ouch) then

8:37 PM  
Blogger phatbobsmate said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous ManofBath said...

Sorry to be serious for a moment, but I was thinking that this job could actually hide some corruption. Imagine that your a member of Blair's turkey army and the funding for your job has run out. What if you had a mate in another local authroity who could set up another three years of dormouse conservation for you. A fresh grant etc. Then they write a job description that only you can fulfill. Hey presto! You've got another three-year ticket on Blair's gravy train. I'm serious... I think there's a fair bit of this going on.

Rant over!

2:33 AM  
Blogger The Weardale Militia said...

Phatbobsmate the Welsh Rare Bit you talk about is that the same one I met whilst walking through the black mountains on a damp and foggy day many moons ago. I feel that Albert the alligator may require therapy; after all if you had just had a Welsh Rare Bit then as you well know you get a taste for them. Soon there will be boxes of them being thrown in. It is also possible that he could be weaned on to McDonalds burgers especially since McDonalds have been given the green light by the RSPCA for kindness to animals.
On closing I also note that you do not refer to Colwyn Bay as a resort. This would indicate that you have also been there and have been left forever emotionally scarred by the event.

4:38 AM  
Blogger phatbobsmate said...

is the fact that it was a dark and dingy night, or was it the fact that you had been on the drink that you had to leave and roam the wear dale region to keep out of the way of the bit from Wales.
Or perhaps wear dale is the next best posting after Bath.
In order to control the Alberts lust for blood perhaps shoes might be the best option. Expensive I know, but who knows if you apply for Tonys gravey train you may well be able to afford them.

5:04 AM  
Blogger The Weardale Militia said...

In reply to your last I would like to make a small point. Don’t use Alligator shoes to feed Albert its like eating kin. Perhaps there is a position for Albert within Tony Blah’s new politic – minister for UK security.
I can picture Albert at Dover docks sashaying around looking for chaps who have inadvertently boarded the wrong lorry and mistakenly caught the wrong ferry without their passports. At the end of a well fed day - then driven back to number 10 in a very expensive bullet proof BMW for drinks and nibbles with Tony and Cherry. We who are about to dine salute you.

5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This obviously calls for another few positions, such as ' dormouse relocation manager' 'dormouse inclusion executive' and not to mention a 'dormouse services supervisor'.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous ManOfBath said...

Was it something I said? Where is everyone?

2:33 AM  
Blogger God said...

Seeing as Pakistan has lost so many people why don't we send them some from over here? Seems like a sterling idea to me - we get shot of them and their homeland gains. I'm sure we would not miss 80,000 and that would redress the balance.

3:29 AM  

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