Saturday, April 04, 2009

Goodbye reality

AS I write, the Sky News helicopter clatters high above Jade Goody's funeral cortege as it makes its four-hour journey through London. The event is being covered live.

Chavs step out of the doorways of Pound Shops to throw flowers onto the bonnet of the hearse. Grubby tramps on their benches tip their bottles of plastic cider in respect. Someone has sent a floral display that spells out the immortal words 'East Angular'. Another is in the shape of a Marmite jar (you either love it or hate it).

I shall now light my Jade Memorial candle. I may later pop out for a kebab. With poppadoms.

She truly was the Poveratti's Princess.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's all so tacky. Fat, orange, chav birds dressed in black smoking as if their lives depended on it outside the church ... shades of Diana / Kray funerals ... the Sky reporter trying to keep a straight face as she asks the pondlife lining the roads for their "opinions" ... the release of a dove outside Iceland in Bermondsey ... yuk.

4:09 AM  
Anonymous Mohammed Al Frayed said...

Is your mention of a kebab a cryptic reference to the Duke of Edinburgh? Was Jade pregnant with Dodi's child when she died?

4:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will Elton be singing Cancer In The Minge at the ceremony ?

4:28 AM  
Anonymous Trevor Rees said...

I remember nothing.

5:22 AM  
Anonymous The Ghost of Henri Paul said...

They should have cancelled the Grand National as a mark of respect. I raise my glass* to her.

* 500ml of absinthe

5:27 AM  
Anonymous Richard T said...

As I read your words I could almost hear the hushed reverential tones of richard Dimbleby.

5:46 AM  
Anonymous Phil the Greek said...

Hello peeps!

6:54 AM  
Blogger cartermagna said...

I'd almost forgot to visit sickipedia today, thanks for the reminder Bazza.

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Grimy Miner said...

The ( un )estimable Jade was a cross between Mother Theresa, Princess Di and Carol Vorderman.

She had Mother Theresa's looks, Princess Di's brains and Carol Vordermans humility

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Shilpy Poppadom said...

This is not the end. It is just the beginning.

Prepare thyselves for the book, the teeshirts and the DVD.

oh please Maxy, let us R.I.P.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Lara Goody in Womb Raider. said...

We'll never forget Jade Goody, but by god I'm trying so hard.

2:46 AM  
Anonymous Teh Reverend Spooner said...

I was impressed with her dignity and grace whilst having that set-to with the aptly-named Shelpa Shitty.

4:23 AM  
Blogger straoil said...

Who the f**k is Jade Goody

1:07 PM  

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