Sunday, February 19, 2006

I was only joking about the Zil limousines

From today's Mail on Sunday:

Every Cabinet Minister is to be offered a brand new Jaguar limousine in a move that last night threatened to become a public relations disaster.

The XJ saloons - which sell for up to £50,000 and would be paid for by the taxpayer - are said by Jaguar to be "revolutionary" and "exhilarating" with "elegant, sensuous lines" and space age technology.

But the announcement that the cars would be made available to all 22 members of the Cabinet was yesterday mired in confusion. Initially, officials said Ministers would be allowed to choose either a Jaguar or the environment-friendly - but much humbler - Toyota Prius, which retails for just £17,500. But they then conceded that Ministers were unlikely to plump for the Prius - but only because "of security considerations".

It was important, said the officials, that potential terrorist targets had a fast car so they could outmanoeuvre their attackers. The Government's security justification was attacked as a "ludicrous figleaf" last night - and critics condemned the scheme as an expensive waste of public money. Shadow Transport Secretary Chris Grayling said Ministers were simply intent on pampering themselves. "This is an act of a Government that has been in power too long. There is absolutely no case for a such a substantial upgrade."


Anonymous tc said...

Is it me or does this smack of an Orwellian idea? All politicians are equal, but some are more equal than others!"

3:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Q : How many Jags does a Prescott need ?

4:25 AM  
Anonymous RD said...

I agree that the Jaguar XJ is an excellent choice however, how many terrorists are really interested in planning an attack against the Sports Minister or the Minister for School Lunches!?

8:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually this could work to te advantage of the rest of us. With the endorsement of the cabinet, how many other people are going to buy Jags?

Once our Dear Leaders are the only ones driving the damned things, they'll be easy for Mad Mustafa and his chums to spot and detonate with a suitably applied RPG7 round or two.

This idea could have a serious upside and for less than a couple of million sovs it'll be a bargain.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These chaps do a splendid job and deserve to be driven around in a decent looking motor - great advert for a British Motor Company that was sold to Johnny Foreigner.
I really don't know what all the bitching is about, if it was me I would not be going for some scabby Jap motor.

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't you get shot of that irritating "Do you want to navigate away from this page" shit?

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you hear the headlines? Now every council house comes with it's own limousine.

I hear the steering wheels are going to have indents for soverign rings, while the drink holders will be perfectly fitted to cans of Special Brew. Buy now and we'll throw in three free microwave pizzas, and 2 pound of microwave chips!

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Chris said...

If ministers are really worried about security maybe they should try one of these:

Because I don't care how fast the jag is they won't out run an RPG7.

2:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just how fast can you drive in London anyway?

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Chris said...

How fast can you drive in London?

Depends if you get to use the Zil lanes.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jaguar or Shaguar??

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Doctor Mick said...

Either that Chris Grayling is none too bright or doesn't reckon the Tories have much hope of getting in power.

You would have thought he'd keep stumm about it so he'd get to ride around in luxury all the while blaming it on ex-President Blairs.

I like this Word Verification test - keeps the moaning dyslectic community from posting.

2:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Utter Cnuts!

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prescott does need 2 jags. One for each foot, the useless, overweight fat lump of lard.

1:25 AM  
Anonymous xxlbriefs said...

Is the next step to have all the Ministers get driving lessons so they don't kill themselves and others because they can't handle the high powered cars?

"If James Bond can do it, I should be able to."

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do terrorists only drive slow cars? Can jags outrun bullets?

3:28 AM  
Anonymous tc said...

Perhaps we should get Clarkson & co on Top Gear to test drive proposed ministerial cars and come up with a winner? I'm sure they can come up with some tests to check resistance to explosions, gunfire etc as well as the normal speed & handling stuff they do!

12:39 PM  
Blogger Dennis said...

ZIL's engineers copied not only the American limos, but also the European and American racing cars! During the '60s, the Soviet Union tried to show its power also in the automotive competitions...obtaining humiliating defeats from more refined and tested cars of Countries large a fraction of the "giant" USSR.

2:50 AM  

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